Romans 12:18 – “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Hebrews 12:14 – “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”
Biblical wisdom for dealing with conflict. In Ephesians chapter four, the Apostle Paul gives us a few things to consider.
Speak the truth in love. Remember it’s not just what you say, but also how you say it.
“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” (Ephesians 4:25)
If we are going to have wisdom in our conflict, Paul says we must speak the truth. Certainly Paul is informing us there is no place for deceit. There is no place for lying and stretching the truth.
I believe Paul is teaching us something more than the avoidance of lies. In our relationships, it’s important to speak the truth. In other words, to share how we feel, to not submerge or hide our true feelings.
Express your anger in an appropriate way.
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26)
In conflict we are always evaluating the other person and what their motives might be, but it’s here that we need to do some self evaluation.
•Am I jumping to conclusions? Is it possible that I misjudged the situation?
•Am I being insensitive?
•Am I being selfish?
•Am I making a judgment that is God’s to make? Am I judging a person’s motives?
•Am I engaging in a power play?
•Am I expecting someone to read my mind?
•Is it possible I am wrong?
Be kind with your words.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)
Respond to conviction of the Holy Spirit.
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” (Ephesians 4:30)
Because he loves us, God gives us an opportunity to respond. We can say yes to the work of the Holy Spirit which leads us to life and health and wholeness. Or, we can refuse to listen and to respond to God. When we refuse God’s Spirit is grieved by our sin. We become hardened on the inside.
Today’s Challenge: If you are in a conflict, don’t forget the power of prayer. God does miracles when people pray. Lives are changed and hearts are softened when people pray. Problems shrink when people pray. Sometimes conflicts even disappear when people pray.”
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